When your path is altered so dramatically that you know only God has lead you to where you are going, you shouldn’t be surprised when He continues to act on your behalf. My weakness of faith shows up continually when I simply don’t trust God to do good things to and for me. Our story of adoption is filled will many miracles that paved the way for us to be parents. I share this journey with you now to show that our prayers do not settle on deaf ears. He hears them and sometimes, He gives us what we’ve asked for and so much more.
In November of 2006, after taking a couple of months to research international and domestic adoptions, we met with a social worker to begin work on a homestudy. After meeting with her, we decided to go ahead with pursuing a domestic adoption. She left us with a lot of homework to do (getting police checks, fingerprinted, reference letters from various people in our lives, and writing an adoption profile for potential birth moms to name a few) and we took our time to complete the necessary tasks. In fact, we took many months to complete all of her requests before she would even meet with us to begin our homestudy.
It was during the number of months that we took to get all of our paperwork in order that a few good friends of ours shared their news of pregnancy with us. I was amazed and so thankful to God that these announcements were not painful to hear! One friend in particular was (and is!) one of my closest girlfriends. She was so concerned that I would feel badly about her expecting a child that she took quite a while to tell me. I know she was relieved to hear that I was at complete peace with not having a biological child and I was so happy to be able to walk through her pregnancy with her.
At the end of June, 2007, we met with our homestudy practitioner again and began the homestudy process. We had a number of meetings in our home and answered a variety of personal questions. We had been told that the questions could feel intrusive but we were blessed to have a thoughtful and respectful woman as our social worker so we never felt uncomfortable.
By the end of August, we had completed the homestudy meetings and had to wait on our practitioner to create the document to submit to the government for our approval to adopt. We were glad that we had arrived at the end of our paperwork preparation for adoption but had no idea where to begin to look for available babies! We decided to wait on our social worker to connect with us again once we were approved by the government and then we would start registering with local agencies. What a daunting task this seemed to be!
In mid-September, my close girlfriend had a baby girl and I was blessed to be one of the first people to get to the hospital post-birth and hold her. I don’t know if I could have been more excited to see that baby than if she were my own! I recall saying to this friend during her pregnancy that I also felt pregnant – not physically pregnant but pregnant with expectation that God had something amazing planned and it was going to happen very soon.
Four days after my girlfriend had her baby girl we heard from our social worker. We were approved to adopt! Ray and I were a little bewildered at this prospect. It was an overwhelming thought that we were now left on our own to try to match up with people that would want us to raise their child. What a huge request we were going to make of total strangers! We decided to sit back and relax for a little while. God had faithfully lead us this far and He would continue to do so.
And then, on September 24th, 2007, we received a phone call from Ray’s best friend who told us of a baby girl that had been born three days prior and was being put up for adoption. The birth mom had heard about us from him and said that she wanted us to adopt her baby girl! We were going to be parents! I was going to be called Mommy and Ray would finally be a Daddy! Our social worker cautioned us to not get our hopes too high. The baby had been born in a different city and we had to find an agency to coordinate the adoption for us. But, our social worker did not share our faith in God. She had no idea who we had working on our behalf.
It took some time, but on October 9th, we met our baby girl at a foster home in Toronto. There were still some loopholes to jump through and some paperwork to be processed but she was to be ours. We named her Adalai Elizabeth. Adalai means “God is my refuge” and Elizabeth means “consecrated to God”. God had indeed been our constant refuge during our infertility journey. We were finally allowed to bring her home on October 18th and she’s been our precious girl ever since.
From being childless and without hope to having a child in our home, the journey lasted five years. During the pain and anguish of waiting, it seemed like a lifetime. When God decided that the time was right and we were finally ready, He moved more quickly than I could have ever imagined. Between getting a call from our social worker telling us we were approved to adopt and being able to bring home Adalai, there was less than a month that had passed! I think back to being so happy for my girlfriend and sharing in her pregnancy and I know that God provided that experience for me as the time that I would have been pregnant with my daughter as she is only three days younger than my girlfriend’s own daughter. Amazing how God works, isn’t it?
Though physically and medically speaking, we are still infertile, I do not feel that way in my heart. We are parents to a compassionate, joyful, kind-hearted, and energy-filled little girl. My life is not a barren wasteland. I have seen God’s hand at work in bringing us our daughter and sustaining us on the journey to her. He may have a different plan for you. It may not be the one you hoped for or dreamed for yourself. But, His ways are always better than ours. Let Him lead you down the path He has set apart for you. In your submission to His will, He will be glorified in your life. Keep your heart fertile, groomed for Christ to grow more of His character in you. May you be sustained in the waiting and find joy in the hope for the plans He has for you.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.” Psalm 25:10
“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” Jude 1:24-25
